Grieving over a lost kitten...?

Question

We had been fostering a 1 week old kitten for a week, until he suddenly became ill. I tried whatever I could think of and ran him to the vet. He passed on.

I grew so attached in that one week. He was a beautifu and fragile life, and I felt like a surrogate mom. I bottle fed and cleaned him, stimulated waste, and loved him so much. I knew it was risk raising a newborn. The vet thinks he had pneumonia or inhaled KMR. I feel guilty. I still remember him nibbling for more food happily a few hours before, but I fed him 5 mLs KMR and put him in his carrier selfishly (fed him 30+ mLs daily). I keep thinking he wasn't fed enough that morning, or I sneezed and got him sick. Maybe he inhaled the KMR I tried to give him when I found him weak in his carrier because he hardly swallowed/suckled (I thought he was tired from hunger). But when hungry, he usually cried for food. The 5 hours between first meal to illness, I had been on my bed reading, and then left the room.

Answer 1

I'm sory for your loss. Hand-reared kittens that young rarely survive, I'm sad to say. Assure yourself you did way more for that kitten than most people would even consider. I don't think I could do it.



As for you getting your kitten sick, NO. Upper-respiratory infections are not transmitted between cats and humans.



You may find helpful support groups on the internet for others who are grieving a loss. Perhaps caring for another cat, not a newborn, will make you feel better. Can you volunteer at a shelter or with a rescue group?

Answer 2

Every one that has own A kitten or cat has dealt with a loss; I have raised a kitten up only to lose it when it was a little older; Life is short as we know so the times we spend with pets we have as well as friends and family is special. Remember the sounds of joy and love you had for the kitten this will help you as time goes by.

I live in the country and when we get kittens to raise up they some time go in the filed and do not come back either gone for good or something gets them; I miss them to; But some times It is hard saying Why? when we do not know the true answer.

PS: Maybe this will help also it is a pet.



We had a goat that had two Young kids; My Mom help the girl bottle fed her as the mother would not She was became week and died. I took the boy he took a bottle so I put him in a box and keep him in my room and feed him during the knight and was up checking up on him; About two days latter he died also A question what Else could I do; We all fill a little sad an guilty thing I can do more and fill bad when things do turn out sad; But sometimes we need to remember we can not control everything all happen for a reason.



I understand were you are at.



Jerry T

Answer 3

Oh, I am so sorry! I lost a 10 yr old to cancer recently. Please know this is not your fault. You are feeling guilty because you bottle-fed the baby and did all you could and as a fur parent you think it is your fault. Sometimes kittens do not thirve. Running to the vet was the best you could do. You sound so sweet, and because I have lost pets I really feel for you. Pets are part of our family, it is awful to lose them.



Get back on the horse, and although you can't replace kitty, a new kitty will let you focus on something else. How about an adult that is healthy since it sounds like you are a bleeding heart and like to save animals (like me)? A one or two year old is a great pet, less work, and these are the kittens nobody took out of the shelter last year.

Answer 4

you poor thing... it's so hard losing a baby. :( I know when you're grieving having someone say "I know how you feel--here's my story" isn't what you want to hear. But, do know that there are others out there who have experienced the same thing you're going through. Being a foster is tough work--it's time consuming, tiring, and hard on the heart. Losing one of your fosters is so difficult. I had to put a young, sick, weak one to sleep about 2 weeks ago... they couldn't even get a read on her temperature at the vet.



I went through the same feelings of guilt-- she wasn't eating, so I made a "kitty smoothie" and feed it to her with a syringe. I was so worried she was hungry--did I over feed her? why didn't I think to put a heating pad in her box? why? why? why?



You just have to love on the others from the litter extra to make up for not being able to love her.



go ahead and cry...



here are a few suggestions (which may be too late, or don't apply)



bury her in your yard.. say a prayer, and ask for God to help you with accepting that you did everything you could for her, and to help you with the guilt. Not religious/spiritual? neither am I really, but it made me feel better.



Not sure if you were fostering with a program, or if you found a stray... but, if she was the only baby you had, perhaps you can contact your local shelter or a rescue group and offer to foster a litter of kittens. I would ask to foster an older group (the batch I'm currently fostering were 5 weeks and weaned, so I didn't have to deal w/ the milk issues). Less work and issues=less chance of them getting ill and dying.



being able to share your love, heart, and home to another litter will make you realize how special you are to foster the baby in the first place. Remember, no matter how hard we try, we can't save them all. here's a story that we use as inspiration in our foster group, hopefully it'll ease your heart and remind you to keep helping out other babies!



The Starfish:



One day, an old woman was walking along the shore and she looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. She smiled to herself at the thought of someone who would dance with such abandon on the beach, and so, she walked faster to catch up.



As she got closer, she noticed that the figure was that of a young woman, and that what she was doing was not dancing at all. The young woman was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.



She came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"



The young woman paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."



"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled older woman.



To this, the younger woman replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."



Upon hearing this, the older woman commented, "But, young girl, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach all over the world and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"



At this, the young woman bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, she said, "It made a difference for that one."







wish you luck

Answer 5

I have fostered many kittens... and so I know that doing the extra work makes you extra attached - but you dont know the full storey - he might have had a heart defect or something else wrong..

and even then (and I am not trying to be cruel) there are thousands of healthy older animals who need homes too.. this kitten would only serve to take away a home from another needy cat.. with such a huge over population of cats if one happens to die.. it only makes it slightly easier on vets who have to euthanize hundreds every year...

Answer 6

I am so sorry for your loss, but please don't beat yourself up - you are not to blame. He was so very young and sadly not all kittens orphaned at such an early age survive. Pet owners who "don't care" will never experience the pangs of guilt. Only caring, responsible pet owners go through this agony. When I suffered a lot of guilt over the death of one of my previous cats, I found the web article below helped me a lot. I hope it can do the same for you.



http://rainbowsbridge.com/stories/Lynn-BreakingThePowerofGuilt-632963483160948750.aspx



He made a place in your heart, so it's only natural for you to grieve for him. If you have friends you can talk to about him or a shoulder to cry on this will help. Gradually the heartache does fade, and hopefully in time, you may feel ready to take on a new pet, because there are thousands of cats in adoption centres hoping that they will be fortunate enough to be chosen by someone like you.



Take care.

Answer 7

I feel really bad.