- How the King Bought a Cat
In the land of the Tashkars there reigned a king, and we can safely say he was a happy king as, whenever it was needed, all his subjects did as he told them, and they did it gladly and they did it with love. There was only one person who sometimes didn't do as he told her and that was his little daughter, the young princess.
He often told her she shouldn't play with her ball on the steps of the castle, but it made no difference! As soon as her nanny dozed off for a little while the princess would be out on the castle steps with her ball, and one day - maybe God wanted to punish her or a demon put her foot in the wrong place - there she fell and hurt her knee. She sat on the steps and cried, and if she hadn't been a princess I would say she was screaming like a banshee. So I don't need to tell you that the ladies of the court soon came out with water in crystal basins and ran to the princess with bandages of silk, ten of the royal doctors ran out and three of the royal chaplains, but none of them could take away the pain in the princess's knee.
Just then an old woman shuffled by, and when she saw the princess sitting on the steps and crying she knelt down in front of her and gently said: "Oh, don't cry princess. What if I bring you a beast that has eyes of emerald but no-one will steal them; whiskers like this, but not like a man's; fur that sparkles, but which never burns; feet made of silk, but not used for walking; and in its pockets it has sixteen little knives, but it doesn't cut meat with them? Would you stop crying then?"
The princess looked back at the old woman, one wise little eye still had tears in it, but the other one was already laughing. "But there's no such animal anywhere in the world," she said.
"But there is," said the old woman, "and if His Majesty gives me what I ask for I'll bring it to you straight away." And when she had said that she limped slowly away.
The princess remained sitting on the castle steps but she had stopped crying; she was thinking about what sort of animal that could possibly be. And then she was sorry that she didn't have it, that the old woman wouldn't bring her anything, and then she started to cry once again. It just happened that the king was looking out the window during all of this because he had wanted to see why the princess was cryng so loudly, so he saw and heard everything that happened. When he saw how nicely the old woman had calmed the princess down he sat back down on his throne among all his ministers and advisors, but he couldn't get this animal out of his thoughts. "Eyes of emerald," he repeated to himself, "but no-one will steal them; whiskers like this, but not like a man's; fur that sparkles, but which never burns; feet made of silk, but not used for walking; and in its pockets it has sixteen little knives, but it doesn't cut meat with them; what could that be?" When the ministers saw how the king kept muttering to himself, shaking his head and moving his hand under his nose as if outlining an enormous moustache they couldn't understand what was happening with him, and eventually the king's ancient chancellor asked him directly.
"I've been trying to think what sort of animal that could be," said the king: eyes of emerald but no-one will steal them; whiskers like this, but not like a man's; fur that sparkles, but which never burns; feet made of silk, but not used for walking; and in its pockets it has sixteen little knives, but it doesn't cut meat with them. What sort of animal is that?"
Then the king's ministers and the king's advisors sat back down, they shook their heads and waved their hands under their noses as if outlining an enormous moustache, but none of them could guess what sort of animal that could be. Finally the ancient chancellor spoke for all of them, and he said the same as the princess had to the old woman: "But there's no such animal anywhere in the world!" he said.
The king, however, wouldn't listen to him and sent his fastest messenger to find the old woman. The messenger flew off on his horse, he galloped till the sparks flew from the hooves, and when he reached the cottage he found the old woman sitting in front of it. "I come from the king," said the messenger. "He must have that animal."
"And he will have what he wants," said the old woman, "if he gives me what I want for it. Find the hat that goes on the head of the king's mother, count how many pieces of the very best silver will fit under it; that's how many taler he must give me for this animal."
The messenger flew back to the palace, so fast that the dust from his horses hooves reached up to the sky. "Your Majesty," he reported, "the old woman will bring you the animal. She says you must find the hat that goes on the head of your mother, count how many pieces of the very best silver will fit under it; that's how many taler you must give her for this animal."
That doesn't sound like much, thought the king to himself, and he swore an oath to himself that that was what he would give the old woman. And then he went to find his mother. "Mother," he said, "I'm expecting a visit. Wear that nice little cap of yours, the smallest one you have that covers no more than a few strands of your hair." And his aged mother did as he wanted.
So the old woman came to the palace, carrying on her back a basket wrapped neatly round in a cloth. In the grand hall of the palace the king, his mother and the little princess were all waiting for her; even all the ministers, secret advisors, chiefs of staff and the prime-minister were waiting, hardly able to breathe for curiosity. Slowly, the old woman unwrapped the cloth; the king himself stepped down from his throne so that he could see this animal close up. At last, the old woman pulled the cloth away, and from the basket out stepped a black cat who made one nimble leap and sat up on the throne.
"But you've cheated us," the king called out in disapointment, it's just a cat!"
The woman put her hands on her hips and retorted: "I've cheated you? Just look!" She pointed to the cat sitting on the throne, its eyes shining as green as the most beautiful emerald. "Aren't its eyes of emerald. And no-one's going to steal them from her, Your Majesty. And it has whiskers, too, but they're not a man's whiskers."
"But," objected the king, "its fur is black, not sparkling."
"Just look at this," the old woman objected, and she stroked the cat up the wrong way. There was indeed the crackling sound of little electric sparks. "And it has feet of silk," the old woman continued. "Not even the little princess, barefoot and on tiptoe, could walk about more quietly."
"Alright then," the king conceded, "but it hasn't got any pockets, let alone sixteen little knives in them."
"In its paws it has little pockets," said the woman, "and in each of them there is a claw as sharp as a knife. If Your Majesty doesn't believe there are sixteen of them, just count them."
So, with a nod, the king told his ancient chancellor to go and count the cat's claws. The chancellor leant over the cat and caught it by a foot so that he could start counting; but the cat merely hissed and scratched him just under the eye.
The chancellor stood up again, held his eye and said: "My eyesight has become weak, Your Majesty, but I think there are many claws here. About four of them I'm quite certain."
Then the king nodded to his first chamberlain to tell him to count the cat's claws. The chamberlain took hold of the cat so that he could start counting but he immediately stood up again, very red in the face and holding his nose and said: "I think there are twelve of them altogether, Your Majesty. I've counted eight, four on each side."
Then the king nodded to his prime-minister, telling him to count the cat's claws, but no sooner had this honorable gentleman bent over the cat than he stood up again, rubbing the scratches on his chin and said: "There are indeed exactly sixteen claws, Your Majesty. I've just counted the last four."
"There's no choice then," said the king with a sigh. "I'm going to have to buy this cat. But you, old woman, are a rogue." There was nothing for the king to do but put the silver talers down on the table, then he took the littlest cap, the littlest one she had, from his mother's head and laid them over the money. The cap was so small that all that would fit under it was exactly five talers.
"There you are, then, five talers," said the king. "Now be gone and God be with you." And the king was glad the old woman hadn't cost him much money.
But the old woman shook her head and said: "That's not what we agreed, Your Majesty. You must find the hat that goes on the head of your mother, count how many pieces of the very best silver will fit under it; and that's how many taler you must give me."
"But you can see," the king objected; "under my mother's hat you can fit exactly five talers of the very best silver."
The woman took the cap in her hand, stroked it a couple of times, turned it round, and said: "Your Majesty, I think the best silver in the world is the silver hair on your mother's head."
The king looked at the old woman, looked at his mother, and said quietly: "You're quite right."
Then the old woman placed the cap daintily onto the head of the king's mother, stroked her white hair and said: "And now, Your Majesty, pay me as many talers as there are silver hairs under the cap on your mother's head."
The king was shocked, the king scowled, the king finally smiled and said: "You, old woman, you are indeed a complete rogue!"
Now, children, a promise is a promise, and so the king had to pay the old woman what she had said. He asked his mother to sit down and his chief accountant had to count how many of her silver hairs would fit underneath that hat. The accountant counted and counted, and the king's mother kept very, very still and then - do you know what? - old people like to sleep and it's very easy for them to doze off. In short, the king's mother fell asleep.
While she was asleep, the chief accountant counted hair after hair; and when he had just counted one thousand hairs he must have pulled on one of those silver hairs a little harder, as just then the king's mother woke up.
"Ow!" she cried. "Why have you woken me up? I was having such a vivid dream; I dreamed that the next king of our country had just crossed its border."
The old woman seemed surprised when she heard this. "That's very odd," she exclaimed, "it's today that my grandson is coming to live with me, and he's coming from abroad."
But the king didn't listen to her and called: "Where from, mother, where is the next king of our country coming from, what royal court?"
"I don't know," said the king's mother, "because you've just woken me up."
Meanwhile, the chief accountant counted on and the king's mother fell asleep once again. The accountant counted and counted and counted up to two thousand, and then his hand slipped again and he pulled hard on one of those silver hairs.
"Oh be careful," shouted the king's mother, "why have you woken me up? I was just dreaming that the next king will be brought here by none other than this black cat."
"No mother," said the king in surprise, "that can't be right. Whoever heard of a cat bringing a person into a house?"
"But that's what's going to happen," said the king's mother, "and now let me sleep."
The king's mother went back to sleep and the king's accountant went back to his counting. When he had counted up to three thousand his hand shook as he counted the very last hair and, without meaning to, he pulled on it quite hard.
"Oh you are a nuisance," exclaimed the king's mother, "you won't even let an old woman sleep for a little while. I was just dreaming that the next king is arriving here with his entire house."
"Oh but Mama," said the king when he heard this, "forgive me but that can't be right. Who could carry a whole royal castle about with himself?"
"Don't speak too soon, my son," his mother warned him. "You can never tell what might happen."
"Your mother is quite right, Your Majesty," said the old woman nodding her head. "When my late husband was alive, God give him peace in Heaven, a Gypsy once told him, 'One day a cockerel will come along, and peck up your entire farm'. Father thought this was very funny, poor man, and said, 'No, Gypsy woman, that can't be right', just like you, Your Majesty."
"And what then?" asked the king eagerly. "Was the Gyspy right?"
The old woman wiped away a tear. "Well, one day a black cockerel flew into our yard and pecked up everything, it was just as if the place was burned to the ground. Father became like a man without a soul, he kept saying, 'The Gypsy was right, the Gypsy was right!'. It's twenty years, now, that he's been in the hands of God, poor man."
The old woman collapsed into tears; but the king's mother took her in her arms and stroked her face, saying, "Don't cry, please don't cry or you'll make me cry too". The king was quite startled at this, so he hurried to count out his money. He put one taler after another down on the table until he had counted out three thousand, exactly as many as there were silver hairs under the king's mother's hat. "Now then," he said, "here's your money and God bless you; although no-one's going to get rich while you're around."
The old woman laughed - and everyone laughed with her - and started to put the talers into her pocket. But - of course! - her pockets weren't big enough. She had to pile the money into the basket, and then the basket was so full of talers that the old woman couldn't lift it. Two of the king's generals and the king himself helped the old woman to get the basket onto her back, and then she bowed nicely to everyone present, took her leave of the the king's mother and turned to take one last look at her black cat, Jůra. But Jůra was nowhere to be seen. The old woman turned round, called out 'puss, puss, puss', and the cat was nowhere. But there was a pair of tiny feet to be seen just behind the throne, the old woman went there on tiptoe, and there she saw the princess asleep in the corner and on her lap was the very costly cat, Jůra, sleeping and purring. The old woman reached into her pocket and pressed one of those talers into the princess's hand; if she wanted to give her something to remember her by the old woman was badly mistaken, as when the princess woke up and found the cat on her lap and the taler in her hand she picked up the cat and went with it as quickly as she could to spend the money. But maybe the old woman already knew that.
But the princess didn't wake up until long after the old woman had arrived home. She was glad she had so much money, glad she'd left Jůra in good hands, and glad most of all because the coachman was at that moment bringing her grandson, Vašek, from the neighbouring land.
2 - All the Things that Each Cat Knows
Now, you already know that this cat's name was Jůra, but the little princesss called her all sorts of things; Tom-cat and Kitty, Puss-puss and Tibby, Puss-cat and Kitkat and Mog, and from that you can see that she was very fond of her. As soon as she opened her eyes in the morning she would find the cat there on the bed: Jůra would make herself very comfortable there and, although she was actually very lazy, she would purr so that she seemed to be doing something. Then the two of them would wash together, although the cat was, of course, much more thorough about it even if she was using just her tongue and one paw; and then she would stay clean for a very long time, whereas the princess would get every part herself thoroughly dirty in the way that only children know how.
Jůra was a cat just like any other: but she did like to sit and daydream on the royal throne, and other cats aren't normally able to do that. Perhaps she was thinking about her distant relative, the lion, who is the king of all the animals. Or perhaps it only seemed that that was what she was thinking; but if ever a mouse poked his head out from his hole Jůra would have it in one leap, and then she'd proudly take it to the throne and lay it at the king's feet, even if the greatest and most celebrated people were assembled there before him.
One day the king had to pass judgement between two very powerful lords. The two of them stood in front of the steps up to the throne and quarrelled loudly about which of them was right. When they were at their loudest, in came Jůra, laid a mouse she'd caught at their feet and waited proudly to receive their praise. The first of the two lords didn't even notice her, but the second of them quickly bent down to Jůra and stroked her. "Aha," said the king immediately, "this is a just man, as he will say thank-you for any service done to him." And it turned out that the king was quite right.
The king had two dogs living with him in the palace, one of them called Buffo and the other Buffino. The first time they saw Jůra drowsing on the palace steps they looked at each other as if to say: "Hey, that's not one of us." And, as if they had arranged it earlier, they both threw themselves after poor Jůra. The cat merely backed up against the wall and bristled up her tail so that it was as fat as a broom. If Buffo and Buffino had been a little bit cleverer they would have known what a cat means when it bristles up its tail like that; but they were stupid dogs and the first thing they wanted to do was go and sniff at it. Buffo went first, but no sooner had he taken his first sniff than he received such a blow across the nose that he squealed, put his tail between his legs and fled so fast that he was unable to stop for a whole hour and was still shaking two days later.
Buffino was rather taken aback when he saw this, but still he thought he had to play the hero. "Listen to me, you scum," he said to Jůra, "don't you start anything with me, I can bark so loud that even the moon is afraid of me." And to show Jůra how true this was he began to bark so loudly that all the panes in all the windows rattled for a mile all around.
But Jůra didn't even blink, and when Buffino had finished barking she said: "Well, you're not bad at shouting I suppose, but when I hiss even the blood in the veins of snakes will freeze with horror." And then she let out such a horrifying hiss that every hair on Buffino's skin stood up in fear.
Once he had recollected himself a little he began anew: "Oh, well, yes, but there's nothing heroic about hissing you know; just you look at this, look how fast I can run!" And before the cat knew it, he ran all the way round the whole palace so fast that even the palace itself twisted its neck trying to watch him.
Jůra was very impressed by this, but pretended not to be. "Well," she said, "I least I know now how fast you can run away from me; but if someone came at me who was a hundred thousand times stronger than you are, this is how I would run." And with three bounds she was up in the canopy of a very high tree - so high that Buffino became horribly dizzy just looking at it. When he was himself once again he said: "Well a proper dog doesn't climb up trees, you know; but if you really want to know what I can do just watch this: I can smell, I can smell that the queen in the next kingdom is cooking pigeon pie for dinner, and that for lunch tomorrow we will have baked goose."
The cat sniffed as well, although she pretended not to, but she couldn't smell anything at all; she was very impressed indeed at this dog with such a wonderful sense of smell, but she didn't let him see any of this. "Well," she said, "that's nothing compared with my sense of hearing; I can hear, for instance, that our queen has just dropped a needle on the floor, and that in the next kingdom it will strike midday in fifteen minutes' time."
Once again, Buffino was greatly impressed by this, but so that he wouldn't give away just how amazed he was he said: "Tell you what, let's stop barking at each other. Stop being afraid of me and come down from that tree."
"And what makes you think," retorted Jůra, "that I'm afraid of you? But I'll tell you what; stop being afraid of me and climb up to join me in this tree."
"I'd come up there straight away," said Buffino, "but first you'll have to show your friendship by wagging your tail like we dogs do." And at that he started wagging his tail so fast that it swished as it went through the air.
Jůra tried to do the same, she tried and she tried but she somehow couldn't manage it. It just seemed that God had taught that trick to dogs and not to cats! But she didn't want to seem shy, so she climbed down from the tree and walked over to Buffino. "We cats," she said, "when we're not thinking of anything evil, we purr like this. As a sign of friendship for me see if you can do it, just a little bit." So Buffino tried to purr, just a little bit, but he couldn't manage it at all! He produced such an awful growling noise that it made him feel ashamed. "Come with me," he said quickly, "let's stop doing this and go down to the gates where we can bark at the people going past; that's wonderful fun!"
"I think," objected Jůra gently, "that I simply wouldn't be able to do that; but if you've nothing against it let's go and sit on the edge of the roof and look down on everything from nice and high up."
"Forgive me," said Buffino in confusion, "but when I'm high up it always makes me so dizzy. The best thing would be if we went and chased hares together."
"I wouldn't be able to chase after hares," said the cat, "I haven't got legs like yours. But if you come with me I'll show you a tree where we can catch birds together."
Buffino thought about this for a while, and finally he said sadly, "Jůra, listen, I don't think this would work together. Tell you what, I'll stay as a dog in the woods and the streets, and you can stay as a cat in the trees and on the roof, but here in the palace and in the court and in the garden we won't be cat and dog; we'll be two friends."
And that's just what happened. The two of them became so used to each other that they even learned each other's tricks; Jůra learned how to run after the princess like a dog, and when Buffino saw Jůra place a mouse she'd caught at the king's feet he brought him a bone that he'd found or dug up in the rubbish and laid it triumphantly in front of the throne. Needless to say, he did not receive the same praise for this as the cat did for her mouse.
One time, in the deep of the night, Buffino was asleep in his kennel - and don't forget, children, that a royal dog has a kennel made of cedar and mahogany. He was dreaming that he was chasing after a hare so that his paws twitched even while he was asleep, and then he felt something gently hit his nose. "Uhh?" and he jumped up out of his sleep. "Uhh, what's going on?"
"Pst," whispered a familiar voice, "be quiet." Buffino saw that it was Jůra; Jůra was blacker than the night itself but her clever green eyes shone with excitement through the darkness. "I was sitting on the roof of your kennel", Jůra told him in a whisper, "thinking about lots of things, as I do; and then, well you know how good my hearing is, I heard somebody's footsteps a long way off, over in the king's garden."
"rrrRAf," Buffino shouted.
"Be Quiet!" hissed Jůra. "I think it must be a thief. Know what? Let's go and catch him."
"Ah!" barked the dog in excitement. "Well let's go then." They got up and went together down into the garden.
It was the blackest of black nights. Buffino wanted to run on ahead but couldn't see anything in the dark and every time he put a foot forward he fell over it.
"Jůra," he whispered nervously, "Jůra, I can't see where I'm going!"
"I can see as well by night as I can by day. I'll go in front and you follow me by your sense of smell." So that's what they did.
"Aha," exclaimed Buffino suddenly, "I can smell somebody." With his nose right down on the ground he rushed after the scent as if he could see quite clearly, and Jůra followed after him. "Pst," she whispered after a little while, "I can see him, he's right in front of you."
"Aha," shouted Buffino loudly, "hrrr, hrrr, at him, thrrrrrow yourself at him! Ha, ha, got you lad, ha, rrrrascal, ha, brrrrigand, you rrrrobberr, ha, ha! Choke him, hit him, squash him, thump him, thrrrow yourself at him, grrrrrrrrrrrasp him and rrrrrrrrrip him apart! Ha! Ha! Ha!
When the thief heard this he was terrifed and began to run away. Buffino went after him, bit his leg, tore his trousers, jumped between his legs to knock him down and then even bit his ear. The thief somehow managed to jump away and rushed in terror up a tree. But then it was Jůra's turn to strike: she climbed up after him, leapt at the back of his head and clawed and bit and scratched and tore as fiercely as she was able, all the while spitting "pff" and hissing "I'll sssssssscratchch you and asssssault you, cut your nose, cursssse you, cut your ssssskin and ssssssssection you and ssssever you in sssixxxxty-ssssseven pieccessss."
"Ha," barked Buffino from below, "thump him, hit him, kill him, bash him, bite him, throw him down, bind him, scratch him, now, don't let him go!"
"I give in," shouted the thief, frightened to death, and he fell down out of the tree like a sack, he knelt, lifted his hands to the sky and begged: "Don't kill me, please, I give myself up, for God's sake, just take me wherever you want!"
So they set off back to the palace: Jůra in the front with his tail erect like a sabre, then the thief with his hands raised, and finally Buffino. Half way there they met the watchman with his lamp, as all the noise had woken him up, and he joined in the procession. So in this way Jůra and Buffino brought the thief back to the castle with much grandeur and celebration. Even the king and queen woke up and looked down from the window at what was happening. Only the princess stayed asleep through it all, and perhaps would even have slept through breakfast if Jùra, just like every morning, hadn't come to make herself comfortable on her bed with a face so sweet and innocent as if nothing had happened during the night at all.
Jůra was able to do many different things, but if I told you about all of them this story would never come to an end, so I'll just say that she would sometimes catch fish in the stream with her paw, she liked to eat cucumber salad, she caught birds even though she wasn't allowed to and all the time looked as innocent as an angel, and she looked so charming when she played that you could sit and watch her all day. And if you want to learn more about Jůra, then all you need to do is look lovingly at any cat; every cat has a piece of Jůra in her, and every cat has a thousand gay and charming tricks which she doesn't hide from anyone who doesn't harm her.
3 - How the Detectives Pursued the Magician.
While we're talking about all the things a cat can do there's one more thing we ought to mention. The princess had heard somewhere that when a puss-cat falls from a height she will always land on her feet and never come to any harm. So one day, she picked up Jůra, climbed up to the attic and, to find out if this was true, threw Jůra out the window from a terrible height. She quickly looked down to see if her pet really would land on her feet; but Jůra didn't land on her feet because she fell onto the head of a gentleman who, at that moment, was passing by in the street below. Maybe, when she fell, Jůra pressed her claws into the man's head or did something else that made him cross - in short he didn't simply let the cat stay there sat on his head like the princess thought he should have done, instead he pulled the cat down, shoved her in under his coat and walked quickly on.
In tears, the princess ran down from the attic and went straight to the king. "Boo hoo-ooo," she cried, "a man went by in the street and he's stolen Jů-hůhůůra!"
When the king heard this he was shocked. There are plenty of cats, he thought to himself, but this cat is supposed to bring us the next king. I'd really rather not lose this cat.
He immediately summoned his chief of police and told him all about it. "Someone's stolen our black cat, Jůra," he said, "put her under his coat and carried her away."
The chief of police frowned, thought about the matter for half an hour, and then he said: "Your majesty, with the help of God, the secret police and general police, all the army, artillery, navy, fire brigade, submarines and airships, fortune tellers and all the rest of the population, I will find this cat ."
The chief of police immediately had his best detectives summoned. Now, children, a detective is somebody who works for the secret police and who dresses just like ordinary people except that he is always disguised as something else so that nobody knows who he is. And a detective finds everything, discovers everything, chases down everyone, learns about everything and is afraid of nothing. So you can see, it's not easy to be a detective.
So, the chief of police immediately summoned his best detectives. They were three brothers, Nosey, Beenthere, and Knowall;and there were also the sly Italian, Signor Grissi, the fat and jolly Hollander, Mynheer Rollaboet, the enormous Slav, Laienlaiský and the scowling, bad-tempered Scot, Mister Neverly. After just five words they knew what it was all about; and that whoever caught the thief would receive a big reward. "Si," exclaimed Grissi.
"Jaa," said the cheerful Rollaboet,
"Mm," grunted Laienlaiský.
"Well," added Neverly curtly.
Nosey, Beenthere, and Knowall simply winked to each other.
Within a quarter of an hour, Nosey had found out that the man with the black cat under his coat had gone down Spálená Street.
Within half an hour Beenthere brought the news that the man with the black cat under his coat had turned up in the district of Prague called Vinohrady.
Within an hour Knowall hurried in with the news that the man with the black cat under his coat was sitting in a restaurant in Strašnice drinking a glass of beer.
Grissi, Rollaboet, Laienlaiský and Neverly jumped into the car they had ready and rushed through the streets of Prague to Strašnice.
"Listen, lads," said Grissi when they got there, "when a you deal with a criminal as a cunning as a this you have a to use a cunning against a him. Let a me deal with this." And all the time the cunning Italian was thinking only of getting the reward for himself.
So he quickly disguised himself as a rope seller and went into the restaurant. There he saw a foreign looking man with black clothes, black hair, black moustache, a pale face and eyes which were beautiful, although they also looked rather sad. "That's him," the detective realised immediately.
"Mister signor caballero," he began to say, "I sell a ropes, beautiful, a strong a ropes, cannot a be broken, cannot a be untied, ropes a like a made of iron." While he was displaying his ropes, setting them out, pulling on them, separating them, uncoiling them, throwing them from hand to hand, in all sorts of different ways, his eyes were flicking to and fro to see where would be the best way to quickly throw a coil of rope around the stranger's hands, pull it tight, and tie him up.
"Don't need rope," said the stranger, and wrote something with his finger on the table.
"Just a you look, signor," Grissi continued to blather, getting more and more excited, throwing rope from hand to hand, pulling on it, uncoiling it quicker and quicker. "Just you look, is firm rope, is strong rope, is slim rope, is strong rope, is white rope, is good rope, is ... is ... - Diavolo," he suddenly cried out in fear, "What is this?" While he had been throwing the rope from hand to hand, pulling on them, setting them out, uncoiling them and tossing them to and fro, his hands were somehow tangling themselves up in them; and all by themselves the ropes twisted and turned, and tightened and tautened, and undid and knotted and all of a sudden (he gaped like a madman) Signor Grissi found that his hands were truly and firmly bound.
Grissi was sweating with the worry of it, but he still thought he could untie himself. He began to stretch and squirm, throw himself from side to side, jump about, hop about and twist, but he was somehow unable to untangle himself from these ropes while all the time he was tangling himself up quicker and quicker: "Look a, look, such a quality, such a strength, such a firm a ness, such a length, such a stretch, such a beauty, such ... Oh my God a, these a ropes!" He twisted and jumped and all the time the ropes got tighter and tighter around him, until, out of breath and bound hand and foot in a criss-cross of tangled ropes and bindings, Signor Grissi fell over onto the floor.
The stranger just sat there. He didn't lift an eyebrow, or even raise his doleful eyes, he just drew something on the table with his finger. Meanwhile, the detectives waiting outside had begun to wonder why Grissi had not come back out. Laienlaiský grunted loudly, and decided to go into the restaurant himself. He saw Grissi tied up and lying on the ground, and the stranger at the table, his head lowered and drawing something on the tablecloth with his finger.
Laienlaiský grunted again.
"And what's that meant to mean?" asked the stranger.
"It means I'm going to arrest you," said Laienlaiský severely.
The stranger merely looked at Laienlaiský with his magically beautiful eyes.
Then Laienlaiský raised his enormous fist, but when he looked into those eyes he somehow wasn't able to do anything. So he put both hands in his pockets and said: "I'd rather you came with me without a fuss. When I arrest someone I break every bone in their body."
"As you like," said the stranger.
"Right then!" the detective continued. "And if I do as much as tap someone on the shoulder it leaves them permanently crippled. 'Laienlaiský', they call me, 'like a lion'."
"Well old man," said the stranger, "that's certainly very nice for you, but strength isn't everything. And if you want to speak to me do you think you could kindly take your hands out of your pockets."
This made Laienslaiský feel slightly ashamed, speaking to the stranger with his hands in his pockets, so he immediately tried to take them out. But, what was happening? He tried and he tried to take his hands out but he couldn't. He tried it with his right hand and it stayed in his pocket as if it had grown roots. He tried it with his left hand and it was as if he were lifting hundred pound weights. Except that Laienlaiský was normally quite able to lift hundred pound weights and although he tried and he tried and he pulled and he tugged and he scowled and he grimaced he still wasn't able to pull his hands out of his pockets.
"This is a bad joke," grumbled Laienlaiský as he struggled helplessly.
"It's not really as bad as you think," said the stranger quietly, and went on drawing on the table with his finger.
While Laienlaiský was struggling and sweating and squirming to get his hands out of his pockets, the detetives were wondering why he didn't come back. "I'm going in there," said Rollaboet as shortly as he was broad, and he went in to the restaurant. He looked round and saw Grissi lying tied up on the floor, Laienlaiský dancing around the chairs like a bear with his hands in his pockets and the stranger behind the table, his head down and doodling on the table with his finger.
"Have you come to arrest me?" the stranger asked before Rollaboet could say a word.
"At your service," called out Rollaboet helpfully as he drew a pair of metal handcuffs from his pocket. "If you wouldn't mind, please be so kind as to put your hands out so that I can put the handcuffs on them, nice cool handcuffs, brand new handcuffs made of the tenderest steel with a lovely reinforced chain, everything of the very best quality." While Rollaboet was making this joke about the handcuffs he jangled them and tossed them from hand to hand to let the magician see them. "Please make your choice," he blathered on gaily, "we don't force anyone, or just a little if people resist; lovely fine bracelets with a patented lock, always a good fit, they never press or squeeze." And here, Rollaboet began to go red and to sweat and to throw the handcuffs quicker and quicker from one hand to the other. "Lovely ha-andcuffs, made specially for the gentleman oh, oh my, from gun metal and ohh, hardened in fire, in the ho-o-ottest o-of fffire ohh, - Oowww!" he suddenly yelled and threw the handcuffs down onto the ground. How could he not have thrown them down, poor man, and how could he not have thrown them from hand to hand? The handcuffs had become white hot and as soon as they hit the ground they burned it so that it nearly burst into flames.
Meanwhile outside, Mr. Neverly was wondering why no-one had come back out. "Well," he said decisively, as he pulled out his revolver and entered the restaurant. He looked round the room full of smoke, Rollaboet was jumping round the chairs in pain and blowing on his hands, Laienlaiský was squirming with his hands in his pockets, Grissi lay tied up on the floor and behind the table, there sat the stranger, his head lowered, and drawing something on the tablecloth with his finger.
"Well," declared Nevrley, and he went straight over to the stranger, revolver in hand. The stranger looked up at him with his sweet and thoughtful eyes. Neverly felt his hands shake under the gaze of these eyes, but he took control of himself and he shot all six rounds from his revolver into the stranger at point blank range and straight between the eyes.
"Have you finished now?" the stranger asked.
"No yet!" Neverly replied. And he pulled out another revolver and shot another six round into the stranger straight between the eyes.
"Finished?" asked the stranger.
"Aye," said Neverly, who then turned on his heel, went to the bench in the corner, and sat there with his arms folded.
"I'd like to pay now, please," the stranger called to the waiter, tapping a coin against his glass. No-one came. As soon as Neverly had fired all those shots the waiters had all hidden themselves on the ground in fear. So the stranger left some money on the table, said goodbye to the detectives and calmly walked out.
At that moment the face of Nosey appeared at one of the windows, at another the face of Beenthere and at the third the face of Knowall. The first to leap into the room was Nosey. "Hallo lads," he said, "where've you got him, then?". And then he started to laugh.
Beenthere jumped in through the second window. "Signor Grissi seems to be rolling about on the floor," he laughed.
Knowall jumped in through the third window. "And Mynheer Rollaboet seems rather sullen."
"I don't think Mister Neverly looks very lion-like," added Nosey.
"And I don't think Laienslaiský seems well greased either," said Beenthere.
Grissi sat down on the floor. "Look a lads," he said in his defence, "it's a no as simple as a you think. That a thief, he tie me up, he no even lay a finger on a me."
"And he made my hands stick fast in my pockets," grumbled Laienlaiský.
"He made my handcuffs red-hot as I held them," complained Rollaboet.
"Well," added Neverly, "that wasn't anything. I shot twelve bullets into him straight between the eyes, and it didn't even scratch him."
Nosey, Beenthere and Knowall looked at each other.
"I think," Nosey began,
"... that this thief ..." Beenthere continued,
"... is actually a magician," Knowall completed.
"But that doesn't matter, lads," began Nosey again, "we've got him in a trap. We've brought a thousand soldiers here with us ..."
"... and had the restaurant surrounded," continued Beenthere,
"... so that not even a mouse could get away," completed Knowall.
At that moment that was a sound like a clap of thunder from outside as the thousand guns outside fired.
"That's the end of him, then," called out all the detectives as if with one voice.
The door flew open and the commander of the thousand soldiers bounded into the room. "Beg to report, sir," he began, "we had the restaurant surrounded and I'd given orders that not even a mouse should be allowed to get away. But just then, a white dove with tender eyes flew out the door and circled round my head."
"Oh," they all exclaimed - with the exception of Neverly, who just said "Well."
"So I got my sabre out and chopped that dove into little bits," the commander continued, "just as all thousand of my soldiers fired on it. The dove was spattered into a thousand pieces in the air. The only trouble is; each of those pieces turned into a white butterfly and flew off. Beg to report, sir; what now?"
Nosey's eyes sparkled. "Right," he ordered, "call all your soldiers together, all the regulars, all the home guard, send them out into every country in the world and go and catch those butterflies."
And that's just what happened. And, just as you'd expect, they created a nice big collection of butterflies which you can still see in the National Museum in Prague. If you're ever in Prague you must go and see it.
But meanwhile, Beenthere said to all the others, "Well lads, there's not much that you can do here now, we'll find some way of sorting things out without you."
So, with sad faces and empty hands, Grissi, Rollaboet, Neverly and Laienlaiský went away.
Nosey, Beenthere and Knowall spent a long time discussing what they should do about the magician. Then they smoked a penn'orth of tobacco, they ate and drank everything they could find in Strašnice, but still they weren't able to think of anything. Finally, Knowall said, "We're getting nowhere like this, lads. Let's go and get some air."
So they went outside, and no sooner had they stepped through the door of the restaurant than who should they see there but the magician. He was just sitting there watching with enormous curiosity to see what they would do.
"Here he is," shouted Nosey with joy, and with one leap he caught the magician by the shoulder. But at that moment the magician changed himself into a snake with shiney, silvery skin and Nosey threw it down on the ground in shock.
Beenthere was there without delay and threw his coat over the snake. But the snake turned itself into a goldfly and crept out through one of the buttonholes in the coat and into God's open air.
Knowall jumped up and caught the goldfly in his hat, but the fly turned itself into a silvery brook and flowed away, flowed away taking the hat with it.
They all ran back into the restaurant to get some glasses so that they could catch the brook in them. But the silvery brook had already flowed away and into the River Vltava. And that's why the River Vltava is still such a lovely, silvery colour today when it's in a good mood: it's in memory of that magician, it swirls around thoughtfully and glitters so much it's enough to make a person's head spin.
Meanwhile, Nosey, Knowall and Beenthere stood on the bank of the river and considered what to do next. Just then a silvery fish poked its head out from the water and looked at them with shining, dark eyes. There was no doubt that these were the eyes of the magician. So the three detectives bought themselves fishing rods and started angling for fish in the Vltava. You can still see them there today as they sit all day long in their boats with their rods, catching fish and never saying a word, and they will never be at peace until they've caught their silvery fish with the deep, dark eyes.
There were many other detectives who tried to find the magician, but all in vain. Whenever they were chasing him in a car there would always be a deer who would stick his head out from the wood and look at them with dark, tender, inquisitive eyes; and whenever they were flying in an aeroplane there would always be an eagle flying behind them who would never take his fierce and haughty eyes off them; and whenever they were sailing in a ship there would always be a dolphin who would swish up from the sea and stare at them with its peaceful and understanding eyes; and whenever they were sitting in their studies thinking, the flowers on the table would always take on an attractive lustre and look at them curiously, or their police dog would suddenly lift his head and look at them in a way they'd never seen before, with beautiful eyes just like a human's. The magician seemed to be watching them from everywhere, he would watch and then disappear again: how could they possibly be able to catch him?
4 - How the Famous Sidney Hall Caught the Magician
Sidney Hall, the famous American detective, read about all of this in the newspaper. He thought about it deeply, and decided he would try and catch the magician himself. So he disguised himself as a millionaire, put his revolver in his pocket and set off for Europe.
When he arrived he went straight to see the chief of police who explained everything to him about how they had been chasing the magician and finished up by saying: "So all this shows that it's quite impossible to get this villain into court."
Sidney Hall laughed: "I'll have him under arrest and brought to you within forty days."
"Impossible!" exclaimed the chief of police.
"Let us make a bet on that; a bowl of pears," said Sidney Hall. Sidney Hall, you see, was especially fond of pears. He was also especially fond of making bets.
"You're on," replied the chief of police. "And now, if you don't mind, how do you intend to catch him?"
"First of all," said Sidney Hall, "I will have to take a trip around the world. And for that I'll need lots of money."
So the chief of police gave him lots of money and then, just to give the impression that he was very clever, he said: "Aha, I can see your plan now. But we'll have to keep everything top-secret, so that the magician doesn't realise we're after him."
"On the contrary," said the detective, "first thing tomorrow, I want you to tell every newspaper in the world that the famous Sidney Hall has devoted himself to catching the magician within forty days. In the meantime, I beg to take my leave of you."
Sidney Hall then went straight to a famous traveller who had already made a journey around the world in fifty days and said: "Let us make a bet that I can make a journey around the world in fifty days."
"Impossible," said the traveller. "Mr. Fox made a journey round the world in eighty days, I did it myself in fifty days, and faster than that it just cannot be done."
"Let us bet a thousand dollars that I can do it," Sidney Hall replied.
So they made the bet.
Sidney Hall set off that very night. A week later a telegram arrived from him from Alexandria in Egypt: "I'm on his track. Sidney Hall."
Seven days later a telegram arrived from Bombay in India: "The noose tightens. All going well. Letter follows. Sidney Hall."
A little later a letter arrived from Bombay - but it was written in a secret code that no-one could understand.
Eight days later a carrier pigeon arrived from Nagasaki, in Japan, with a message attached to its neck saying: "Approaching target. Expect me. Sidney Hall."
Then a dispatch arrived from San Fransisco, in America: "Got flu. All else going well. Get pears ready. Sidney Hall."
On the thirty-ninth day after he had set off, a telegram finally arrived from Amsterdam, in Holland: "Arriving tomorrow evening at seven-fifteen. Get pears ready. Prefer conference pears. Sidney Hall."
On the fortieth day, at seven-fifteen in the evening, the train rattled into the station. Mr. Sidney Hall jumped out and behind him followed the magician, serious, pale and with lowered eyes. All the detectives were waiting at the station and were amazed to see that the magician wasn't even wearing handcuffs, but Sidney Hall just gave them a wave and said: "Wait for me tonight in The Blue Dog. I've just got to take this gentleman to prison." And as he was stepping into a taxi, along with the magician, he remembered something and called back: "Have the pears there for me!"
So that evening there was a bowl of the loveliest pears waiting for Sidney Hall, with all the detectives sitting around it. They had all begun to think he wouldn't come when the door opened and an ancient and decrepit old man came in selling cockles and gherkins.
"We don't want to buy anything, old man," the detectives said to him.
"That is a pity," said the old man, and suddenly he began to shake and cough, rattle and choke, and, wheezing, he sank breathless onto the chair.
"Oh my God!" declared one of the detectives, "he's not going to die on us, is he?"
"No," spluttered the old man as he bent double, "I can't take any more of it!" And then everyone saw that the old man was actually laughing so much he couldn't stop. Tears ran from his eyes, his voice cracked, his face went blue and all he could do was groan. "Children, children, I can't take any more of it!"
"What is it you want from us?" asked the detectives.
The old man stood up, staggered over to the table, took one of the nicest looking pears from the bowl, peeled it and ate it all in one go. Only then did he take off the false chin, false nose, false grey hair and dark glasses and revealed the clean shaven, smiling face of Sidney Hall.
"Don't be cross with me, guys," Sidney Hall apologised, "but I've just had to spend a whole forty days trying not to laugh."
"When did you catch the magician?" asked all the detectives with one voice.
"Not till yesterday," said the famous Sidney Hall, "but I was laughing at the way I was going to have him right from the start."
"And how did you do it?" the detectives persisted.
"Well," said Sidney Hall, "it's a long story. I'll tell you all about it just as soon as I've eaten another of these pears."
Once he had eaten it, this is how he began: "Listen; the first thing I will tell you, gentlemen, is that a proper detective mustn't be a fool". As he said this he looked all around, as if he might find a fool among those present.
"And what then?" the detectives asked.
"What then?" said Sidney Hall. "The second thing is he has to be clever. And the third thing is," he continued as he peeled another pear, "he has to have something between the ears. Do you know how to catch a mouse?"
"With bacon," said the detectives.
"And do you know how to catch a fish?"
"With a worm."
"And do you know how to catch a magician?"
"Don't know"
"The way to catch a magician," said Sidney Hall as if giving them a lesson in school, "is just the same as catching anyone else: you use his own weakness. First of all you have to find out what that weakness is. And do you know what the magician's weakness was?"
"Don't know."
"Curiosity," declared Sidney Hall. "The magician was able to do anything, but he was curious. Terribly curious. But now I have to eat this pear."
Once he had eaten it he continued: "Each of you thought you would be able to get the magician. But the magician got you. He followed behind you and didn't let you out of his sight. He was terribly curious and wanted to know about everything you meant to do against him. Whenever you nearly had him he would twist round behind you, but it was on his curiosity that I built my plan."
"What plan was this?" shouted the detectives, desperate to know more.
"Well, this is how it went. That journey around the world, guys, that was just for pleasure. I've always wanted to travel around the world, but never had the chance till now. But as soon as I got here I knew the magician would always follow behind me to see how I was going to catch him. That's how curious he is. Well now, I thought to myself, I'll lead him all round the world behind me; and at the same time I'll see something of the world and never need to let him out of my sight. That's because he would never let me out of his sight. And so that his curiosity would be even stronger, what I did was, I bet that I could go round the world and catch the magician all within forty days. But now, I shall eat this lovely pear."
When he had finished eating he declared, "There's nothing better than a good pear. So I took my gun and some money, disguised myself as a Swedish businessman and off I went. First I went to Genoa, that's in Italy, you know, and if you go there from Prague you see all of the Alps. They're so high it's glorious, these Alps; if a stone falls down from the top of the Alps it takes so long for it to fall to the bottom that it's all overgrown with moss before it hits the ground. Then from Genoa I wanted to take a ship to Alexandria, in Egypt.
"Genoa is a lovely port, it's so beautiful there that any ship approaching it will move all by itself, even from a long way off. A hundred miles out from Genoa they stop stoking the boilers, the paddle-wheels stop turning and the sails are taken down and the ship just keeps on moving all by itself into Genoa because it's so glad to be there.
"My ship was due to sail at four in the afternoon exactly. At three-fifty I was running down to the harbor when on the way I came across a little girl crying.
"'Little girl,' I said to her, 'why are you crying?'
" 'Waa-aa,' wailed the little girl, 'I've got myself lost!'
" 'Well, if you've got yourself lost you'd better start looking for yourself.'
" 'I've lost my mummy,' wailed the little girl, 'I don't know where she is.'
" 'Why, that's different,' I said. So I took the little girl by the hand and we went to look for her mummy. Guys, it took me an hour, running here and there around Genoa, before we found her ma. And what then? The time was four-fifty. My ship must have sailed long before. Because of that little girl, I thought to myself, I've lost an entire day. Sadly, I went down to the harbor, and I looked, and I saw that my ship was still there. I rushed down to it. 'Now then, Swede,' the captain of the ship said to me, 'you've got here just in time. We would have left you behind a long time ago if our anchor hadn't somehow become caught up on the sea bed, it took us a whole hour before we were able to pull it up.' I don't need to tell you, I was very glad about this. But now, maybe I could eat a pear."
When he had eaten it, he said, "Now that pear was really good. So, we sailed down into the Mediterranean Sea. The Mediterranean Sea is such a beautiful blue color that you can't tell where the sea is and where the sky begins. That's why, all over the ship and on the shore, they had signs saying which way is up and which way is down. People would get confused otherwise. Even so, the captain told us, there was a ship that got things muddled up one day and instead of sailing off into the sea sailed up into the sky; and as the sky goes on forever that ship has never returned and nobody knows where it is. So we sailed across the Mediterranean Sea to Alexandria. Alexandria is a great city because it was founded by Alexander the Great. I sent that telegram from Alexandria so that the magician would think I was bothered about him. But I wasn't bothered about anything at all, I could simply feel that he was everywhere around me. When seagulls or cormorants flew around the ship, or the swift wings of an albatros cut through the air in the distance, I knew that the magician might be among them and travelling with me. When a fish stuck out his eye from the depths of the sea and looked at me, I felt it could be him who was watching me with his own eye. And when the swallows, flying on their way across the sea, set down onto the yardarms of our ship I was nearly certain that that white swallow sitting among them, the one that was the most beautiful of all, was him.
"But when I reached Alexandria I sailed down the holy River Nile to Cairo. The city of Cairo is so enormous that if they hadn't built so many tall and magnificent mosques and minarets there it'd get lost in its own streets. You can see them from so far off that any house, no matter how far off it is, can always use them to tell just where it is. In Cairo I went to bathe in the Nile, because it's so hot there. All I had on me were my swimsuit and my revolver, all my other clothes I'd left on the shore. And then, an enormous crocodile climbed up onto the bank and ate all my clothes and everything that was with them, such as my watch and all my money. So I went up to the crocodile and fired six shots at him from my revolver. But the bullets just bounced off his hide as if it were made of steel. And the crocodile laughed at me out loud. But now, I'll eat a pear."
When he had finished with the pear, Sidney Hall continued with what he had been saying: "Now you all already know that every crocodile can cry and shout just like a small child. That's how they draw people into the water. People think there's a child drowning there and run to help him, and that's when the crocodiles catch those people and eat them. But this crocodile was so old and wise that he'd learned not only to cry like a child but he could also swear like a sailor, sing like a diva and even speak just like a human being. They say he had even taken on the Turkish religion.
"But I was beginning to get a little worried. What was I going to do without any clothes and without any money? Then, all of a sudden, there was a black-skinned Arab standing next to me, and he said to this monster, 'You, crocodile, did you eat this man's clothes and even his watch?'
" 'Yeah!' said the crocodile.
" 'You are a stupid crocodile,' said the Arab, 'that watch had not been wound up. What use to you is a watch that won't go?'
"The crocodile thought about this for a while, and then he said to me, 'You, I'll open my mouth a little; reach
down into my stomach, take the watch out, wind it up, and put it back.'
" 'I'd certainly be glad to do that, but you'd bite my hand off. Say, why don't I push this stick in between your teeth so that you can't close your horrible jaws on it?'
'My jaws aren't horrible,' said the crocodile. 'But if you insist you can put the stick between my noble jaws, so now get on with it.'
"So, naturally, that's what I did. And I didn't just pull my watch out of his stomach, I also pulled out my clothes, my shoes, and my hat, and then I said: 'I'll leave this stick in your jaws now, old man, just so as you don't forget.' The crocodile wanted to protest and tell me off at this, but he couldn't because the stick kept his mouth wide open; he wanted to eat me but he couldn't; he wanted to beg me but he couldn't. So I simply put my clothes back on and said to him: 'And, for your information, your jaws are horrible, repulsive and vile' and then I spat in his mouth. At that, the crocodile broke out in tears of rage.
"When I looked round for the Arab who'd been of such help to me in such a clever way, he'd gone. And that crocodile is still swimming round in the Nile today with his mouth wide open. Back in Alexandria, I took a ship for Bombay, disguised an an Indian rajah. Boy, that disguise really suited me! First we sailed down the Red Sea. It's called the 'Red Sea' because it's always so ashamed of not being bigger. When all the seas were still very young and little, and their main job was to grow bigger, the Red Sea played on the shore with the Arab children and the time went so fast he forgot to grow, even though the good Lord provided lots of good sand in the deserts all around him for him to make his bed. It was only at the last moment that he remembered what he was supposed to be doing, but by then he could only grow longer, not wider, and he still left a stretch of dry land between himself and the Mediterranean that he was supposed to join up with. He felt so ashamed of all this that the people felt sorry for him and connected up the two seas with a canal. So since then the Red Sea has stopped going red.
"One day, after we'd left the Red Sea behind us, I was asleep in my cabin. There was suddenly a knock at my door. I went to open it - in the corridor there was no-one. I waited for a while and then I heard two people coming towards my cabin. 'Let us kill this rajah,' whispered one of them, 'and take his pearls and the diamonds that he wears on his clothes.' I swear, all those pearls and diamonds of mine were made of glass. 'Wait here,' whispered the second man, 'I have left my knife on deck.' While he was going for his knife I caught the first one by the neck, tied him up, gagged him, dressed him up in my rajah's clothes and left him on my bed. Then I took his clothes and stood in his place at the door. When the second one got back with his knife I said to him, 'You don't need to kill the rajah now, I have him strangled already; go you and take all pearls and diamonds, I wait here, keep look out.' As soon as he had gone into my cabin I locked the door and went to the captain. 'Captain,' I said to him, 'I've just received a very curious visit, ...' Once the captain understood what had happened he had both men punished; but I called everyone else together, showed them my diamonds and pearls and said, 'Just so that you know, you children and you rascals, just how unimportant diamonds and pearls are to a man of wisdom, watch this!' And at that I threw all my glass jewelry into the sea. All of them bowed down and declared, 'Oh, this rajah is a man of great wisdom and nobility!'
"But to this day, I still don't know who it was that knocked on the door of my cabin and saved my life. And now I shall eat this lovely, big pear."
He had still not finished eating when, with his mouth full, he continued to speak: "So we sailed happily on to Bombay, in India. India, guys, is a great and peculiar country. When you arrive there the first thing you notice is that it's so hot that even the water is dry and you have to keep it damp to stop it evaporating. The woods are so dense that there's not enough room for any trees, and that's what you call the jungle. When it rains everything grows at an enormous rate; entire churches grow up out of the ground like mushrooms do in Europe and that's why somewhere like Benares has so many of them. There are as many monkeys there as we have sparrows, and they're so tame they climb up into your room. Sometimes, someone will wake up in the morning and find a monkey there in his bed instead of himself. That's how tame those horrors are. And there are snakes there so long that if one of them looks round at his own tail he won't even realise it is his own tail and he'll think he's being chased by some snake even bigger than himself; then he'll start to run away from himself and die a horrible death from being chased all the time. And I've still told you nothing at all about the elephants that live there. India, guys, really is a terrific country.
"I sent another telegram out from Bombay, and then that letter in secret writing so that the magician would think I've got something up my sleeve."
"What did it say in that letter?" the detectives asked, and one of them quickly boasted that he already had it half decoded. "Why, you're cleverer than I am then," replied Sidney Hall, "as I wouldn't be able to decipher it. All it was was a lot of squirls and nonsense that was meant to look like secret writing. From Bombay I took the train to Calcutta. The trains in India have bathtubs instead of seats so that you don't get too hot. We traveled through deserts and jungles. In dense woods I saw the terrible shine in the eyes of a tiger, and on the fords of rivers I came face to face with the wise and noble eyes of the white elephant. The golden eagle flew ahead of our train, and the bright colored butterfly flappered at the windows. All in all, guys, I could feel that the magician was near.
"Near Calcutta, the train came close to the holy River Ganges. The Ganges is so wide that if you throw a stone across to the other bank that stone will be in the air for one and a half hours. Just when we were going alongside the river I saw a woman washing clothes there. Then, she must have leant too far forward or something, but anyway, she fell into the water and was drowning. The train was only just moving off, so I jumped out and pulled this clumsy Indian woman out onto the bank. I'm sure any of you guys would have done the same."
The detectives grunted and muttered in agreement.
"Although, to be honest," Sidney Hall continued, "I didn't actually come out of that scot-free. While I was tugging at that woman in the water a ghastly great alligator swam up and viciously bit my arm. I got the woman out onto the bank, but I collapsed onto the ground. I was nursed for four days by some old Indian women and - you have my word on this - I've got this golden ring here in memory of it. In short, guys, anywhere you go the people are capable of showing gratitude, even if they're black heathens, and a naked Indian is in no way a worse human being than any of us, and that's that.
"But what does all that matter; I lost five days. And with those five days I lost my bet. I sat on the bank and thought to myself, 'I'm not going to get this done in forty days now. A thousand dollars gone to Hell. And even a bowl of pears has gone to Hell with it.' And as I was sitting there thinking, a junk sailed up. A junk is a sort of a funny kind of a boat with simple sails, and on board there were three brown-skinned Malayans grinning at me as if I were their dinner. 'Nia nania pche chem Nagasaki,' one of them blathered at me. 'Now Caspar,' I said, ' how can I understand what you're saying?' ''Nia nania pche chem Nagasaki,' he said again, and laughed at me in a way he must have thought was appealing. But 'Nagasaki' I did understand. That's a port in Japan, and that's just where I wanted to sail. 'To Nagasaki?' I asked. 'In a leaky tub like this? Not for anything.' 'Nai,' he answered, and blethered on some more, pointing to his junk, to the sky to his heart, and in short he seemed to want me to go with him. 'Not even for a bowl of pears,' I said. And then, these three brown satans jumped on me, knocked me to the ground, wrapped me round in a mat and threw me into their junk like a parcel. It would not be very nice to tell you what I thought about this, but in the end, wrapped inside the mat, I fell asleep. When I woke up again I wasn't in the junk any more but on the shore beside the sea, and over my head instead of the sun there was a big chrysanthemum, and the trees all around were nicely laquered, every grain of sand on the beach was smooth and clean, and from all this cleanliness I knew I was in Japan. The first pig-tailed, yellow-skinned fool that I met, I asked him where I was. And he laughed and answered, 'Nagasaki.'
"Now, they do say," Sidney Hall continued thoughtfully, "that I'm not too slow when it comes to figuring things out. But to understand how I got from Calcutta to Nagasaki overnight in that miserable junk when the fastest ship can't do it in less than ten days ... well, forgive me, I guess I am a little too slow to work that one out. But now, I shall eat this pear."
After he had carefully peeled and eaten the pear, he continued with what he was saying. "Japan is a great and peculiar land, where the people are clever and gay. They can make teacups out of porcelain so thin that they don't even need any porcelain to make them; all they do it take their thumb, draw a circle with it in the air, paint the outside of it very nicely and the cup is ready. And if I told you how the Japanese can paint you wouldn't even believe me. I saw one painter who dropped his brush onto a piece of blank paper, and as the brush twisted round it painted a landscape with houses and trees, people on the street and wild geese in the air. When the painter saw my amazement at this he told me that was nothing compared with what his late teacher could do: 'One day in the rain, his honorable shoes became muddy. When the mud dried out he showed them to us; on one of the slippers the mud had painted a scene of dogs and hunters chasing a deer, and on the other slipper was a scene of children playing at school'.
"So from Nagasaki I took the steamer to San Francisco in America. Nothing special happened on this voyage - apart from our ship getting sunk in a storm, that is. We all rushed into the lifeboats, and when they were completely full two people called out from the sinking ship, 'There's still a girl up here, is there any room in the boat for her?' 'No, there isn't,' some shouted, but I called back, 'Yes there is, pass her down!' So then they threw me into the water to make room for her in the lifeboat. Well, I admit I didn't offer much resistance; a young lady, I thought to myself, must always go first. When the ship had gone under and the lifeboats had sailed away I was left alone and all by myself on the wide ocean. I sat down on a plank I found and bobbed up and down on the waves; it was actually quite enjoyable, although a little damp. I floated for a day and a night and it began to seem that everything would come to a bad end. But just then a tin box floated up to me and inside it I found some fireworks.
"Now my first thought was; 'What am I to do with these fireworks?' I'd far rather have had some pears. But then I had an idea. When the black night came, I set off the first rocket. It flew up as high as you can imagine and shone like a meteor. The second rocket was like the stars and the third was like the sun; the fourth rocket whistled and the fifth flew up so high that it got caught up among the stars and it's still shining up there now. While I was having all this fun a big ship sailed up to me and took me on board. 'If it weren't for these rockets,' the captain told me, 'you would have drowned here, but we saw the light from them from ten miles away and we decided it must be someone calling for help.' And now, in honor of that noble sea captain, I shall eat this pear."
When he had eaten it he continued gaily on: "So I set foot on American soil in San Francisco. Now America, guys, that's my home country and - in short - America is America. America is such a great and peculiar country that if I told you anything about it you wouldn't believe me anyway. So all I'll say is that I got on the Great Pacific Railroad and went to New York. The buildings in New York are so high that they can't even finish building them. As soon as the bricklayers and roof builders have climbed up their ladders to the top it's already midday; so then they get their lunch out of their bags and eat it while they're up there, and then they start climbing down again so that they can get back in their beds in the evening, and that's how it goes day after day. There's nowhere at all that's better than America; and anyone who doesn't like his home country as much as I like America is an old fool.
"From America I took a ship for Amsterdam in Holland. And on the way ... on the way ..., well, on the way something happened to me that was the best and happiest thing of all."
"What was it?" shouted all the detectives enthusiastically.
"Well," said Sidney Hall as his face went red, "I became engaged. Traveling on that ship was a young lady, a rather nice young lady, well, in short, her name is Alice and no-one in the world, and no-one among yourselves, is nicer than her. No, there definitely is not," added Sidney Hall after some deep thought. "Only, don't you think that I told her how much I would like her. It was already the last day of the voyage and I still hadn't spoken a word to her. And now, I'll eat this pear."
After he had enjoyed his pear in the usual way Sidney Hall continued as follows: "So on that final evening I was taking a stroll on deck when Miss Alice approached me herself. 'Mister Sidney Hall,' she said, were you ever in Genoa?' 'I was, miss,' I replied. 'And when you were there, did you see a little girl who had lost her mother?' Alice asked. 'Well, miss,' I said, 'I did see a little girl, and I led her all round the town in circles.'
"Alice was silent for a moment, and then she said, 'And, Mister Sidney Hall, were you ever in India?' 'I was, miss,' I replied. And did you see,' she said, 'how one noble lad jumped out of a worn-out old train into the River Ganges to save a drowning washer-woman?' 'Yes, I did see that,' I said, somewhat confused, 'it was some kind of old lunatic, miss; no-one with any sense would to a thing like that.'
"Alice was silent for a while, and then, part strangely, part lovingly, she looked into my eyes.
"And, Mister Sidney Hall,' she continued, 'is it true that one noble man sacrificed himself on the high sea so that a lady who was drowning could get into the lifeboat?' I, by this time, was beginning to feel a little warm. 'Well miss,' I said, 'unless I'm seriously mistaken, a crazy man like that will have gotten very wet.'
"Alice held out both her hands toward me, blushed, and said, 'Mister Sidney Hall, do you know just what a nice man you are? And that after what you did for that little girl in Genoa, that washer-woman in India and that unknown lady, that everyone must love you?'
"Just then, the Good Lord himself must have pushed me in the back to make me take Alice into my arms. And after, in this way, we had become engaged, I said, 'Alice, listen, who is it who's been telling you all these stupid things about me? God knows, I didn't boast about them to anyone.'
" 'Well,' said Alice, 'I was looking out at the wide sea this evening, and thinking, a little, about you. And then a kind of little black woman came up to me and told me all these things about you.' We looked all round for the black lady so that we could thank her but we weren't able to find her. And so guys, that's how we got engaged on board ship," Mister Sidney Hall concluded, and he wiped his shining eyes.
"And what about the magician?" called out all the detectives together.
" 'What about the magician?' " the famous Sidney Hall repeated. "He became the victim of hisown curiosity, just as I had foreseen. When I was spending the night in Amsterdam, there was an unexpected knock at the door and in he came, the magician himself, pale and anxious. 'Mister Sidney Hall,' he said, ' I can't take it any longer; please, just tell me, how do you intend to catch me?'
'Mister magician,' I replied seriously, 'that is something I will not tell you. If I told you that I would be betraying my own plan and you would get away from me.'
" 'Oh,' the magician groaned, 'have pity on me! I can't even sleep for curiosity, what actually is your plan.'
" 'Tell you what?' I said, 'I'll explain it to you; but first you must swear to me that from that moment you will be my prisoner and won't try to escape.'
" 'I swear,' shouted the magician.
" 'Magician,' I said as I stood up, 'at this very moment my plan is being fulfilled. So know this, you big-eared old fool, I was counting merely on your own curiosity. I knew you were close behind me on land and on sea so that you could see what I would do about you. I knew you would eventually come to me just as you just have done, and that you would rather lose your feedom than fail to satisfy your curiosity. And now it's come to its conclusion!'
"The magician went pale, he scowled and said, 'Mister Sidney Hall, you are a great rogue and you have even outwitted a magician.' And that, guys, is the whole story."
When Sidney Hall had finished saying all of this all the detectives burst out in gales of laughter and congratulated the fortunate American for his success. Mister Sidney Hall smiled contentedly and looked in the bowl to choose a nice pear. He unexpectedly found one that was wrapped in paper. He opened out the paper and this is what he found written on it:
'Greetings to Mister Hall, from the little girl in Genoa.'
Mister Sidney Hall quickly reached again into the bowl, found another pear wrapped in paper, opened the paper out and this is what he found written on it:
'Bon appetit, from the washer-woman by the River Ganges.'
Sidney Hall unwrapped another pear, and he read:
'The lady from the sea would like to thank her noble saviour.'
Sidney Hall reached into the bowl for a fourth time, unwrapped a fourth pear and read:
'Thinking of you. Alice.'
There was still a fifth pear left in the bowl, the loveliest one of all. Mister Sidney Hall unwrapped it and inside he found an envelope addressed to 'Mister Sidney Hall'. He quickly opened it and read:
'He who has secrets must guard against fever. The injured detective on the banks of the Ganges blabbed out all of his secret plans while he was unconscious. It was the plan of an old fool. Your friend had no wish to deprive you of the reward that was on his head, and therefore willingly allowed himself to be caught. The reward you will receive for him is his wedding present to you.'
This left Sidney Hall quite astonished. "Guys, now I understand everything," he said. What an *** I am. It was the magician himself; he held the anchor at the bottom of the sea while I was running around Genoa with that lost little girl; he, in the form of an Arab, helped me with that crocodile; he woke me up when the two men were going to murder me. The magician listened to my plan while I was delirious after being hurt in the River Ganges; the magician sent me that mysterious junk that got me to Nagasaki on time; the magician floated that box of rockets to me that saved my life on the sea. In the form of a little black lady, the magician turned the heart of Alice towards me. And finally, the magician was willing to seem foolish and curious so that he could help me get the price that was on his head. I wanted to be cleverer than the magician, but the magician is cleverer than me - and he's more noble, too. There's no-one better than the magician! Guys, declare with me out loud: Long Live the Magician!"
"All praise to the magician," called out all the detectives so loudly that all the windows in the town shook.
5 - What the Magician did in Prison
After the famous Sidney Hall had arrested the magician and brought him back, which you already know about, the trial for stealing the cat could begin.
In the high judge's chair sat Doctor Corpus Juris, as fat as he was strict. On the bench for the accused sat the magician in handcuffs.
"Stand up, villain," Doctor Corpus Juris bellowed at him. "You have been accused of stealing the royal cat, Jùra, born in this country, age, one year. Do you confess, you good for nothing?"
"Yes," said the magician quietly.
"You're lying, you lout," thundered the judge, "I don't believe a word of it. We must prove the case against you. Bring in the witness: our most glorious princess."
They brought in the little princess so that she could be a witness.
"Little princess," twittered Corpus in a way that was meant to be endearing, "did this low character steal your noble cat, Jùra?"
"Yes," said the princess.
"There, you see, you lout," thundered the judge at the magician, "it's proved by a witness. Now tell us how you stole the cat."
"Well, it just happened," said the magician, "the cat fell down on my head all by itself."
"You're lying, you miserable specimen," shouted the judge at him. Then he turned back to the princess and said in a teeny-weeny, narrow, squeaky voice, "Little princess, how did this evil being steal your lovely cat, then?"
"Just like he said he did," said the princess.
"There, you see, you criminal?" shouted the judge at the magician, "Now we know how you stole the cat! Now tell us why you stole it, you villain!"
"Because when the cat fell on my head it broke its leg. I took it under my coat so that I could set the leg and heal it."
"You barbarian," everything you say is a lie! Bring in the witness, the landlord from the restaurant in Strašnice."
So they brought in the witness.
"Now, landlord," shouted the judge, "what can you tell us about this criminal?"
"All I can tell you, milord," began the landlord timidly, "is that he came into my restaurant, took a black cat out from under his coat and bound its leg."
"Hm," grunted Doctor Corpus, "you could be lying. And what did he do then with this noble beast?"
"Then," said the landlord, "he let go of it and the cat ran off."
"Ha! Torturing animals!" the judge accused the magician, "You let the cat go so that it would run off! Where is the royal cat now?"
"Perhaps," said the magician, "it ran back to where it was born. That's what cats do, you know."
"Ha!" thundered the judge, "Don't you try to teach me lessons. Little princess," he said, in a teeny-weeny high-pitched voice as he turned back to her, "what do you think is the value of your highly honorable cat, Jùra?"
"I wouldn't let her go for half the kingdom," the princess declared.
"There you see, you good for nothing?" the judge bellowed at the magician. "You've stolen half the kingdom. And for that, you pitiful specimen, you will be put to death!"
At that, the princess felt sorry for the magician. "But maybe," she added hurriedly, "I'd let somebody have her for a little piece of cake."
"And how much is a little piece of cake worth, princess?"
"Well," said the princess, "cakes with nuts cost a penny, with strawberries they cost tuppence and a cream cake costs thruppence."
"And what sort of cake would you expect for Jùra, Princess?"
"A cream cake, I should think," said the princess.
"There, you murderer," the judge shouted at the magician, "it's as if you'd stolen thruppence. You'll be made to suffer for this, villain, the law says you must spend three days in prison. March, into prison, you worthless object, three days, miscreant, thief, robber! My dear little princess," as he turned back to her, "I have the honour of thanking you for all the wise and well considered things you have said. Do please give your dear father the humblest greeting from his most obedient, most loyal and most fair-minded judge, Doctor Corpus."
After they had taken the magician away into prison they gave him a piece of mouldy bread and a jug of stinking water. But then, the magician simply sat down and smiled, and as he sat his eyes began to shine and then they shone more and more brightly. When the time reached midnight he stood up and waved his hand; sweet music began to be heard and the air seemed filled with the scent of a thousand flowers, in the empty prison yard there were indeed groves of flowering roses suddenly growing, thickets of lilies lifted their cups to the whiteness of the moon, beds of pansies and May-lilies blossomed up, viburnums and peonies swayed with the weight of their flowers, the hawthorn opened its blossoms white and red and high in its canopy a nightingale sang loud to all around.
Lying in his cell, a condemned murderer began to wake, and an arsonist on his hard bunk wiped the sleep from his eyes; a rioter rose up in surprise and a thief shouted in astonishment, a confidence trickster put his hands together, unable to understand what was happening. The cold, damp walls of the prison opened out into elegant vaulting on slender columns; the prisoners' dirty beds were covered in shining white linen, the bars were gone and a flight of stone steps led straight down into the garden of flowers.
" 'Ere, Frank," grunted the murderer to the arsonist, "are you asleep?"
"Na, I'm not asleep," said the arsonist, "but I'm having this really weird dream; I keep thinking I'm not inside any more."
"Here, lads," the rioter called out, "I think I've just died and gone to Heaven!"
"Heaven," exclaimed the con-man. "Not much hope of Heaven for me. But I've been having a wonderful dream just like you, it's like I was in Paradise."
"That's not a dream," said the thief; "you can actually feel all this stuff, lads, I can feel a lily flower right now. I really wish I could pluck it!"
"Then pluck it," said a powerful and friendly voice, and the magician appeared among the prisoners wearing a white gown. "This is all for you my friends!"
"Excuse me," said the arsonist timidly, "but, are you one of the guards in this prison?"
"I'm a prisoner, just like you, my friends," the magician answered. "Condemned just like you. This garden is for us. The tables spread under the trees are for us. The nightingale and the flowering roses are for us. Do come, and have your suppers!"
They all sat down at the laden table and the feast began. The magician served them with exotic foods and wine. When he began to pour wine for the confidence trickster he lowered his eyes and said quietly, "No, no thank you, not for me."
"Why do you want no wine?" the magician asked.
"Because it's something I don't deserve. There are so many people I've made into paupers. How could I enjoy drinking wine?"
The magician's eyes began to sparkle, but he said nothing and continued to serve the others. When he filled the murderer's glass the hand that held it was shaking and a few drops of scarlet wine trickled onto the tablecloth.
"Why does this wine make me think of blood?" the murderer called out in despair. "It was me that spilt the blood of the innocent, pitiful wretch, I am."
The magician said nothing, but his eyes sparkled even brighter. When he poured wine for the rioter, he called out, "What right do I have to drink wine? I killed people, just in my own excitement, and I crippled them just for the fun of it; I rejected the hand that offered me friendship and tormented them who most loved me!"
The light shone out from the magician's face, but he said not a word, he turned back to the thief and offered him a dish of the most gorgeous fruit. "Have some fruit, my friend," he said generously "it belongs to you."
"Look," said the thief, "I've always taken things that don't belong to me; d'you mind if, this time, I don't take something that does?"
The magician smiled openly, and moved on to the arsonist. "You take some fruit," he said to him, "please do, it'll refresh you."
"Oh no," the arsonist objected, "I burnt down the roof over the heads of people who'd been good to me; they're beggars now, they have to ask strangers for a crust of bread to eat. I really wish I could refresh those who I harmed!"
The magician's eyes shone like stars, he stood up straight and said, "You've been suffering hunger and thirst for many years now, you've lived without sweetness on your tongues or happiness in your hearts. Why won't you now eat and drink? Enjoy the feast and experience something good. Take all of these things, they're yours!"
But at that moment there was a noise in the garden like the rustling sound of many feet, and a crowd of paupers, cripples and beggars approached the feast.
"My God," exclaimed the confidence trickster, "here are the people I reduced to poverty!"
"And I," called out the murderer, half in shock and half in joy, "I can see the man I murdered!"
"Oh my," the rioter joined in, "these cripples and injured, they're the people I harmed!"
"And all of you," called out the thief in joy, "you're all the people I've ever stolen from!"
"Oh those poor people!" called out the arsonist. "These are the people whose homes I burnt down!"
Then the con-man jumped up and began to bring food and wine to them who he had made poor; the murderer tore off a piece of the tablecloth, knelt down in front of the man he had murdered, washed his wounds with his tears and bandaged them; the rioter poured wine and oil onto the wounds of them who he had harmed; the thief collected up the gold and silver cutlery from the table and gave it to them who he had robbed; and when the arsonist saw all of this he broke down in tears and said, "Woe is me, what can I give you? You are all beggars now and it was me who deprived you of everything!" Then suddenly he jumped up, picked all the flowers in the garden and gave them to the beggars.
When the con-man had served food and drink to them he had made poor, when the murderer had bound the wounds of the man he had murdered and the rioter had nursed the injured, when the thief had given presents to them he had robbed and the arsonist had covered the beggars' rags with flowers, they took nothing for themselves to enjoy but led their guests into the palace, laid them to sleep in the white sheets on the beds and, themselves, lay down next to them on the hard ground.
The magician remained alone in the garden, his arms folded and his eyes shining like stars. It seemed as if the whole the prison was enjoying a sweet and peaceful sleep.
Then some heavy blows were heard on the doors of the prison and the jailer came in. "Get up, you filth," he shouted, "you've been asleep for three days now and we can't get you to wake up!"
The convicts, all of a sudden, became awake. And they saw that they were lying on the ground next to their hard and dirty bunks; the airy columns had turned back into the damp walls of the jail, and everything that was in any way like a flower or a blossoming tree had disappeared from the empty yard; all that was left was a few rose and lily petals lying on the ground.
"We've been asleep for three days?" asked the murderer in amazement.
"What?" the arsonist exclaimed. "You mean it was all just a dream?"
"Mister prison officer, sir," the thief asked, "was there anyone else here besides us?"
"Well there was that bloke here who stole the king's cat, "grumbled the prison guard. "Just stood there in his cell for three days, he did, without moving, his eyes shining like stars. He went off this morning as soon as he'd finished his sentence. Right funny bird he was! And before he went off he put a spell on our honorable judge, Doctor Corpus, and gave him the ears of an ***. But now, get moving you filth, get up!"
And so the lives of the convicts went back to the prison life they had known before. But something did seem to have changed; the stinking water in the jug always seemed to taste of the sweetest wine, the mouldy bread seemed in their mouths to change into something delicious, the breeze seemed to have the fragrance of flowers as it passed through the prison and at night, when they lay down to sleep, their beds were covered with the whitest linen. Every night the prison slept the most peaceful sleep, with no accusations and no suffering.
6 - How the Tale Comes to its End
After the princess had learned in court that her cat, Jůra, may have run back to where she had been born, she immediately sent a courier to the old woman's cottage.
The courier on his horse flew till the sparks glittered under his hooves, and then, in front of the cottage, he saw the old woman's grandson, Vašek, with the black cat on his lap. "Vašek," the courier called to him, "the princess wants her cat, Jůra, back."
It pained Vašek's heart to learn that he would have to lose Jùra, but he said to the courier, "I'll take her back to the princess myself."
So Vašek ran off to the castle with Jůra in a sack and went straight to the princess. "Here princess," he said, I've brought you our cat. If she's your cat, Jůra, you can keep her."
Vašek opened the sack, but Jůra didn't jump out with the same energy as she had done the first time from the old woman's basket; she was limping on one leg, poor thing.
"I don't know if this is our Jůra," said the princess. "Jůra didn't limp at all. Tell you what though: let's call in Buffino."
As soon as Buffino saw Jůra his tail began to wag with such joy that it swished as it moved throught he air; but none of the people there could understand what it was that he said to her or what it was that she answered.
"It's Jùra," cried the princess, "Buffino has recognised her. But Vašek, what am I to give you for bringing her to me? Do you want money?"
Vašek blushed, and quickly said, "I don't want money, princess. My grandmother's got so much money she doesn't know what to do with it."
"Or,... or, ... would you like a piece of cake?" the princess asked.
"Well, no," said Vašek, "we've got all the cakes we need."
"Or, ... or, ... " the princess considered, "would you like to choose some of my toys for yourself?"
"What for?" said Vašek waving his hand. "I've got my own knife, look, and if I want something I carve it for myself."
By this time, the princess really had no idea what she could offer Vašek.
"Alright then, Vašek," said the princess, "tell me yourself what you'd like to have."
"Well, actually princess ...," said Vašek, his face turning as red as a poppy flower.
"So tell me then, Vašek," the princess insisted.
"I'm not really allowed to say it," Vašek objected, red up to the ears.
And then the princess, too, became as red as a peony. "And why wouldn't you be allowed to say it?" she said.
"Because," said Vašek sadly, "because you wouldn't let me have it anyway."
The princess became as red as a rose. "And what if I do give it to you?" she said in some embarrassment.
Vašek shook his head. "You won't."
"And what if I do?"
"You wouldn't be allowed to," said Vašek sadly. "I'm not a prince."
"Vašek," said the princess quickly, "look over there". And when Vašek looked over there she tiptoed over to him and gave him a quick little kiss on the cheek. Before Vašek knew what was happening she was already over in the corner and had picked up Jůra and hidden her face in the cat's fur.
Vašek's face shone. "So God bless you, princess," he said, "and now I'll go."
"Vašek," the princess whispered, "is that what you wanted?"
"It was, princess," cried Vašek loudly. Just then, some of the ladies of the court entered the room, and Vašek quickly left.
Vašek was in a very happy mood as he trotted back home; he remained in the wood long enough to cut a piece of wood from a tree and carve it into a nice little boat, and with the boat in his pocket he ran on home.
When he arrived, there was Jůra sitting on the doorstep and washing her fur with her damaged leg.
"Nan!" cried Vašek, "I've only just taken Jůra up to the palace!"
"Well lad," his grandmother said, "it's just in the nature of cats to go back to the place where they were born, even if it's a thousand miles away. Run up to the palace tomorrow and take the cat back again."
In the morning, Vašek took Jůra and carried her up to the palace once more. "Princess," he said, out of breath, "I've brought you Jůra again. She ran away from you, naughty cat, and came straight back to our cottage."
"And you can be very quick when you want to disappear yourself!" said the princess.
"Princess," said Vašek, "would you like this little boat?"
"Oh, yes please," the princess said. "And what am I to give you for bringing Jůra back?"
"I don't know," Vašek replied, and immediately blushed up to his hairline.
"Tell me," said the princess, blushing even more.
"I won't."
"Tell me!"
"I won't."
The princess lowered her head and pushed her finger into the boat. "Would you like, perhaps," she finally said, "the same as yesterday?"
"Well, maybe," Vašek hurriedly cried; and after he had been given it he ran gaily home. He only stopped for a little while by the willow trees where he carved a nice whistle.
When he arrived home, there was Jůra sitting on the doorstep smoothing her whiskers with a paw. "Nan!" exclaimed Vašek once more, "Jùra's back here again!"
"Well you'd better take her," said his grandmother, "and run up to the palace again with her tomorrow. She might get used to being there."
The next morning, Vašek ran once more up to the palace with Jůra in a sack on his back. "Princess," he said as soon as he got there, "Jůra ran away back to us again."
But the princess just frowned and said nothing.
"Look at this," Vašek went on, "I carved this whistle yesterday."
"Give it to me," said the princess, still frowning. Vašek stepped over to her, wondering why the princess seemed so cross.
She blew into the whistle, and after she'd heard the nice sound it made she said, "Listen, I know what you're doing with the cat, you're doing it on purpose so that, ... so that you can have the same again as you had yesterday."
Vašek was sad when he heard her say this, he took off his hat and said, "Well, if that's what you think, then, that's alright; but I won't come back here any more."
Vašek went home very sad and slowly that day. He had hardly arrived back before he saw Jùra, once again, sitting on the doorstep and simply licking her face as if she'd just licked up a dish of milk. Vašek sat down beside her, took her onto his lap, and was silent.
Then, clippety-clop, one of the king's couriers hurried in on his horse. "Vašek," he called out, "the king has ordered you to bring the cat, Jùra, to the palace."
"And what'd be the point of that," said Vašek, "cats always go back to the place where they were born."
"But Vašek," the courier warned him, "the princess has ordered you to bring the cat every day if you need to."
"Vašek shook his head. "I've already told the princess I won't go there any more."
Then Vašek's grandmother came out onto the doorstep. "A dog stays faithful to a person," she said, "but a cat stays faithful to its home. Jůra has stayed faithful this cottage."
The courier turned his horse round and went back to the palace. The next day, an enormous wagon pulled by a hundred horses pulled up outside the old woman's cottage. The driver got down and called the old woman. "His majesty has ordered," he said, "that if the cat stays faithful to this cottage we're to bring the cat with the cottage, with yourself and with Vašek and all. He thinks this cottage will look very nice in the palace yard."
Lots of people came and they all helped load the whole cottage onto the wagon. The driver cracked his whip and shouted 'hee-yeah', the hundred horses pulled and the wagon with the cottage on it set off for the palace. On the wagon sat the old woman at the entrance to her cottage, with Vašek and Jůra beside here. And then the old woman remembered how the king's mother had had a dream that Jůra would bring the next king to the palace, and that this new king would bring his whole house with him. She remembered it, but she said nothing.
When the wagon arrived at the palace it was received with great joy, they put the cottage together in the garden and as Jůra wanted to stay in her home it didn't occur to her to run away. She lived there together with the old woman and Vašek. Whenever the princess wanted to play with her she had to go and find her in the cottage, and because, as everyone could see, she was very fond of Jůra she went there every day and she and Vašek became great friends.
What happened after that doesn't belong in our story. But, children, I can tell you that Vašek really did become king of that country when he grew up, and it wasn't because of the cat, or because of the princess that he became king, it was because of the great and noble deeds that he performed.