Had to put my cat to sleep today and feel so depressed...how long will this last?

Question

Hi im 14. A week ago my 18 year old cat was acting like she always was. Lying under our Christmas tree, sitting beside me as I did my homework and socializing with the family. Ever since Christmas she became very sick. Was not eating or drinking, my mom had to feed her, was not urinating or deficating, breath had an unusual odor,breathed funny, and all she was doing was sleeping in odd positions. She has also been vomiting over the carpet for the past few years.When we took her in to the vet, she had to get blood work done and the results were surprisingly good. But once her ultrasound was done, revealed multiple tumors and lumps around her bladder. Later that day, the vet called to say that she would have to be put down. I kept telling myself how this can't be for real and that the vet must be making a mistake because last time my cat was supposed to die, she was 14 and lived for another 4 years. At first I was originally going to stay home while she was put down because I was so upset. However I convinced myself to go but wait in the car. Once we got to the animal hospital I told my family I wanted to wait in the car because I was afraid of bursting out crying in the room. However my dad came back and asked if I was sure I didn't want to see her one last time. I decided I should though because I didn't want to live with missing my opportunity to say goodbye to my cat one last time. I remember everything. Walking in to the room to see her and sitting down beside my mom with the cat almost in tears. (Maybe I was in tears I couldn't tell) she crawled on to me and looked so weak. She wouldnt even look at me because she was too weak to move her head....I felt so sad that this was the last time I was ever going to see her. After a few minutes she didnt even want to sit on my anymore, she just crawled on to the floor and layed there. I felt so upset. After I said goodbye, I left the hospital and just sat in the car while my parents held her as she was dying. I literally cried my eyes out in there.
I keep wondering what happened to her as she was being put to sleep and if she even knew who I was before she died, my cat was so out of it. Now everytime I go down to my basement I start crying because of how much time she spent down there and it just doesn't feel right that she isint lieing in her cat bed. Every time I see a toy she played with or place she slept in I cry because she has been part of our family every since I was born and I just feel so empty inside right now. I just can't believe that she is gone forever and that I will never be able to see or touch her ever again. I'm so upset right now, I'm literallycrying as I write this. Is it normal to be this upset?

Answer 1

It is very normal to become depressed when you lose a family member and your cat was a beloved family member for over 18 years. Do not hesitate to talk to someone if you need to - they will understand. Your cat realized that you were there for her as she crawled up on your lap to say good-bye. This was the last act of love you gave her and please realize that she is not in pain anymore. It will take time but it will get easier as you remember all the good times you had with her.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry, sweetie. Your cat had a good long life--18 is quite old for a cat--and I'm sure you and your parents did everything you could for her. She no doubt was sick for a long time, and the cancer caught up with her.



A few years ago, I had to put down my 18-year-old cat, whom I adopted when she was 3. A few months before she died, an ultrasound to determine the cause of her frequent UTIs turned up an abdominal mass that turned out to be cancer. I didn't have a biopsy done because no way was I going to put a cat her age through chemo!



Long story short, one day when she appeared to be in great distress, my boyfriend and I rushed her to the vet where the doctor suggested "humanely letting her go". I wasn't surprised; I knew on the way over that we wouldn't be bringing her back. And while they were examining her my boyfriend and I agreed that if they suggested putting her down, we would do so.



I had the opportunity to say goodbye to her, so I gave her a few pats and told her I loved her, but she was out of it--she obviously was sedated--and so I called in the vet. The vet told us what would happen, what might happen, and injected the solution. It took less than a minute and was very peaceful. Believe me, I was crying hysterically and saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I am probably not the first person to cry hysterically as she said goodbye to her beloved furbaby. I think it is absolutely normal to be crying when you do this!



I think I was a wreck for a few days. I tried going into work the next day, but I just couldn't bear it and left early. I pretty much rested as much as possible before I had to go back to my next workday. Yes, it's normal to be that upset; you've lost a member of your family.



One website that helped me was www.petloss.com. There are message boards and a chat room where you can talk with other people dealing with loss. It helped me a great deal.



I also adopted another cat a couple of weeks later, and she has brought me comfort. It's not for everyone, but it's nice having someone to come home to, even if she doesn't say much. I don't see it as replacing Miss Kitty but as giving another cat a chance.



Take care.

Answer 3

YES - IT'S TOTALLY NORMAL.



You loved that cat. What you're feeling now comes from the same place as that love. One thing that might maybe make you feel a little less crummy is seeing how poor your cat looked. From what you wrote, it was definitely "time." Because of what you and your parents did, your cat's suffering is finished. Don't know if it'll help you, but the Rainbow Bridge poem helped me. There's a link below if you' don't have it.



There are a million different ways of dealing with losing an animal friend. If you google "pet loss," you can see all kinds of different perspectives. Over the next weeks and months, it'll get less bad. Don't worry, you won't forget her... but you'll finally be able to look back and remember the good times you had together, rather than the bad times at the end.



I'm sorry for your loss.

Answer 4

Yes, it's completely normal to be this upset, especially if your pet has been with you since birth. I know how it feels and I'm your age also, my family had to put my dog down about two months ago because of cancer. I still have all of his toys and photos, and I also remember bursting out crying when I got home and walking past his multiple beds around the house. Don't worry about it, I thought I was gonna be sad for like the next year, but about two days afterwards I was fine. Now whenever I walk past all the places where my dog used to love sitting at, I just smile and think of all the memories I've shared with him and soon you will have that sort of outlook too. If it makes you feel better, take some of your cat's toys and just keep it on a shelf in your room or something to remind yourself of all the moments with your pet. I understand it's gonna take some time to get over, but like I said, you'll look back at all the memories one day (which is soon) and you'll just smile about them. Hope I helped.

Answer 5

Please don't feel guilty. You didn't do anything to give her this breathing problem. You saved her from going through agony over and over again. Cats will put up with a lot of pain before we know to do anything, so she was possibly suffering more than you would know. We had a cat that contracted feline AIDS almost 20 years ago--before it was around in our area. Our vet told us that we could treat her for the secondary infection that she had, but that each time she got ill it would be a struggle to keep her going. We decided to have her put to sleep, also. She was only a few years old, also. The main thing is to keep thinking about the time that you had with this wonderful pet. Many people have animals, but never really make a bond with them. It sounds like your pet had a great life with someone who really cared about her.

Answer 6

Keep your head up. When I got divorced (back in '05) I had no perspective on such an event. Counselor I finally saw said that they have a "66" rule. Six months to Six years. Always the procrastinator, it was about 5-6 years before I had to think about the issue to recall it. Likewise, I had to put my cat of 19 years down, Tyler, as the multiple issues he had finally forced him into constant pain. It makes me angry that his final hours were pain filled and I couldn't do anything about it. I was at work when his body finally gave out and there was nothing anyone could do during that time. It is good that you and your family responded as soon as you did. When your cat's body gives out, they can't really do much. We, without thought, take medication to minimize or suppress pain when it occurs, but animals have to go into a self management suppression that is only partially as good. I was happy to read that you did go to see your cat for that final time. It appears to have been good for both of you. Hope all is going well in your life now.

Answer 7

I am crying as I read this. I had to put my 18 year old kitty down a few months ago and I held him as he died. I sobbed very loudly in the vets office, but they are usually aware that happens and have people come at a time no other clients are there. I buried my kitty in the yard (i'm rural and there are no restrictions). I'm a geologist by training and piled my best rocks on his grave. This kitty followed me around like a dog and was my only comfort when I was single and got disabled by depression and lost my career. He comforted me thru my long years of deep depression. I still miss that cat, but I pet my other 2 cats who aren't trained as my "chore cats" (they don't go outside) . When a pet is put to sleep it's like when you are put under anasthesia. I am really sorry for your loss. It is no dishonor to your cat when you distract yourself with other matters so as not to feel so much raw grief. It does get better with time, but you'll probably always miss him. My husband still feels horrible about his dog that he had to shoot himself over 50 years ago. Distract yourself, when you ruminate over your kitty too long and can't bear it.

Answer 8

You did great!

I am an old man and would feel exactly the way you did. It will get better

This will make you cry too but it is worth reading

We choose tears

http://www.oes.org/page2/8647~You_have_chosen_tears_-_poem.html

Answer 9

This feeling will never go away, you are always going to miss you cat. But you learn to live with it so it doesn't feel as bad as it does know.

Answer 10

That's up to you how long do you want to be depressed?

Answer 11

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